Do You Know Who You Are?

I know my title of this blog might sound kind of strange but last week I had this question asked to me by a very respectable counselor that my son is seeing and he wanted to visit with Drue and I alone on the next appointment. So Thursday comes and we meet with him and we make small talk and laugh and he turns to me and says "Who are you?" I proceed to say that I am a mother and he stops me and says "No, who are you?" So I again proceed to explain that I am a mother of two boys and ..... he interrupts me again and says " that's not what I asked, I asked who are you?" At this time I look over to Drue for some support with tears in my eyes and he just shrugs his shoulders and this counselor then says one more time, "Sherry who are you?" I say really fast "I AM A MOTHER WITH TWO BOYS THAT ARE MY WORLD!" There I got it out!!!! He smiles and explains to me that being a mother is what I DO, NOT who I am! So I have to admit to him I don't know WHO I am? He tells me that Drue is a policeman BUT that is not who he is, that's what he does. I am still confused because I have always identified myself as a mother and really take the role seriously and have always enjoyed being just Mom.
We then go into other topics but leaving from there that night I really couldn't get what he had said to me out of my mind, one because he made me mad telling me that being a mother wasn't who I was and two because I really deep down understood where he was going with this!!!

For two weeks I have just pushed it in the back of the brain in my head ( yes, I do have one) until last night I said to my husband, I really don't know who I am? Who do you think I am? He tells me that I think you are loving and kind and you are always putting others first before yourself, but you have no self-esteem, you worry way to much and what others think of you and you need to stop that and mellow out! That's why I love this man I married because he will tell me what I need to hear!! So I am on this journey trying to figure out who I am? It's funny as I am trying to figure this out as long as I can recall when I was a little girl playing with my Barbie dolls I can remember thinking I can't wait until I grow up and find my prince (or policeman) and become a Mom someday, not a teacher, nurse, actress, or secretary but a MOM!

I was also told to read the Parable of the Lost Son as many times as I can. My oldest wants to be away from us as much as possible and can't wait until the day he can leave home, it hurts but was told that as parents we have done all we can to have him know the Lord and educate him on drinking, drugs, dating and setting boundaries and rules in our home but there comes a time we have to trust him and have him make his own decisions and face the consequences as they come. It's a daily struggle with me cutting the cord as both of my boys grow into men and they want to be with Dad more and more and they converse with each other and less with me but his is the process that God has intended and I need to just let go and put it into God's hands!
Everyone that reads this blog please say a prayer for me.